Costometic

Being involved during those nine months is the best way to show how much you enjoy being a dad-to-be. Here is what to do:

1. Be By Her Side

Be there for the first check-up and the subsequent ones. Know the schedule: ultrasound scans, shots and routine check-ups. Keep a track of the growing foetus: See the scans, hear the baby’s heartbeat, feel her first movements - it will bring you closer to your baby. Find out about the diet, supplements or medicines your wife will need for a healthy pregnancy. Learn about the discomforts that accompany pregnancy from the doctor, friends or the Net, and help her cope with those. Put a cushion under her feet to avoid swelling and tiredness - and earn the tag of ‘the sweetest husband’.

2. Lend a Hand

If you haven’t been helping around the house, then start right away. Take on everything from those strenuous chores like grocery shopping to anything that involves aerosol sprays or cleaning fluids - products that may be harmful for the mother and the baby. Remember your wife is sensitive to smells at this time, so keep the garbage out and if you have a pet, clean its much yourself.

3. Love Her Changing Body

As your wife’s pregnancy progresses and she puts on those extra kilos, she may begin to feel unattractive. You can make her feel good by assuring her that you love the way she looks. Encourage her to dress the way she used to before she was pregnant and take pictures to record how her bump grows, inch by inch.

4. Get Healthier

Your wife is trying to follow a wholesome diet and lifestyle and you can contribute by sharing in those. Cut down on alcohol, quit smoking, avoid bad-for-baby food that might tempt her and pass up junk food. Treat yourselves to healthy habits - go for light walks with her and turn in early: Research has shown that regular exercise and sound sleep reduces stress.

5. Baby Her

Your wife loves being pampered and she will love it all the more when she is pregnant. Serve her breakfast in bed to start her day with a good dose of love. Call her during the day to find out what she’s eaten and if she is keeping well. Tuck her in at night. Cheer her up with gifts: a book on pregnancy, a magazine for parents and flowers. And don’t forget to fulfill all those middle-of-the-night food cravings - everything from ice cream to pickles to a cheese sandwich.

6. Be Prepared For Changes

If you are one of those couples who do everything together, then be prepared for times when your wife may not feel up to it or simply does not have the time. Also understand that while her love for you will not reduce, she may not be able to give you the attention she did before pregnancy or childbirth. Still feeling left out? Just get yourself involved in caring for your baby to share the joys of parenthood.

7. Understand Her Mood Swings

With all those hormonal theatrics in her body, your wife will be prone to highs and lows. Drive away those blues by doing little things she likes (playing her favorite music) and avoiding those she hates (talking for ages on your phone after you get back home). Be there when she needs you - remember that any kind of stress will only add to the lows. Cut out the formalities - if your wife does not feel up to chatting or socializing don’t force her.

8. Take Decisions Together

Discuss everything: shopping for baby clothes, choosing the color of his room, tackling the rising finances, arranging for help after delivery and handling an emergency - there are a lot of things moms and dads-to-be need to talk about and settle.

9. Make Love, Gently

You can enjoy having sex even while your wife is pregnant, but understand that her sex drive may be dampened by concerns of her baby, apprehensions about her pregnancy and hormonal fluctuations. Talk to find out what is making her anxious and try to dispel her fears. Also, check with your doctor about the precautions you need to take to avoid complications. Remember that sex is not the only way to feel good: cuddle up, share your baby dreams, give each other a massage or have a relaxing bath together.

10. Teach Yourself

Sign up for antenatal classes if you can. Learn everything from holding your baby to changing her diaper, to feeding her, to cleaning her poop and spitups, to giving her a bath… You will be able to participate completely in raising your baby. Besides, it will take a lot of load off your wife’s shoulders and help her cope better with post-partum exhaustion.

Back from work early? Baby Asleep? Child at playdate? Moms and dads, take a break.

1. REVIVE A HOBBY
Revisit a hobby you had set aside when the baby was born or the kids were growing up, like a craft, playing a musical instrument, or gardening - anything you used to enjoy. Go on - paint a pot, compose a new tune, click a few table-top photographs or plant a succulent that will tolerate a little forgetfulness.

2. GIGGLE, CHUCKLE, LAUGH
Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers and makes you feel good. Pick up a joke book, watch a recorded stand-up comic show, or try any of these sites:

3. DAYDREAM WITHOUT A DOUBT
Swing away in the kid’s park and make your wish happen in your head first. In book Positive Imaging, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale says that visualizing is a kind of “laser beam of the imagination … in which the desired goal or outcome is pictured so vividly that the unconscious mind accepts it and is activated by it”.

4. TAKE A WALK
Take a walk without a wallet, without a shopping bag, without a destination, without worries. Stroll along, people-watch, notice the trees and grass, the shape of the clouds in the sky. Hold hands, just enjoy the journey.

5. CATCH UP WITH FRIENDS
Have a long, uninterrupted heart-to-heart with a friend or make quick five-minute catch-up calls to three or four different friends. When did you last do that without having the TV or the children as background noise?

6. ESCAPE TO YOUR LOO SALON
Pamper yourself now that you have the chance. Apply a facial mask, lather your hands with a moisturizer, soak your feet in a tub of warm water and then slather them with foot cream too. Put an eye-pack on and lie back in the recliner for 15 minutes. Then shower it all off. Dads, just laze and gaze at her.

7. MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR
It takes women 10-20 minutes and married men seven minutes to reach an orgasm, on an average, say studies. If you are not that goal-oriented, take time off anyway for reconnecting in bed.

8. DRAW A DREAM HOUSE
Seriously, put it all down on a sheet of paper - room by room, wall by wall, door by door - marking out the details for future use. Or do it just for fun. There is always a great chance of learning something out of your rough sketches and drawings. The reason: when you think that you are putting down something just for fun, your mind gets involved greatly and set-aside your worries and expenses involved. You purely listen to your heart and do what you feel like doing NOT what you ‘can do’.

9. TONE YOURSELF IN TWENTY
“Side stretches and upper body twists are great for stress relief and a tired back”. Stand with your feet hip-distance apart and your arms stretched above your head, keeping your fingers overlocked. Stretch and bend to the right and then to the left. Repeat 12 times. Lower your arms to shoulder level, stretched out to the side. Twist your body to the right and then to the left. Repeat 12 times.

10. MAKE A SHORT VIDEO
Upload all those photos hibernating in your computer along with the music you want on www.animoto.com. The website marries the photographs and the music, creating a sharable video. Short videos are for free. For putting together a simple slideshow, log on to www.flickrshow.com and www.picasa.google.com.

11. TELESCOPE YOUR LIFE
Imagine your life is over and take stock of what you have achieved. Write down your biggest achievements and how you think the world will remember you or think of you: This will help you focus on what else you like to accomplish.

12. CENTER YOURSELF
“Usually your body is in one place and the mind elsewhere: Meditation is about making your mind rest and be one with the body”. Enjoy a green tea meditation: Make a cup of green tea, very mindfully, being aware of every little action, the textures, the fragrance … When you sit down to sip it, think of where the tea leaves came from (earth), where the water came from (rain), where the cup came from … and you will feel ‘one’ with the whole universe.

13. SERVE IT UP
Whip up a fruity smoothie, a mango smoothie or hot chocolate just for yourself. The good part? You don’t have the kids demanding to share it.

14. PLAN THAT FANTASY VACATION
Outline your dream vacation. It will be something to look forward to on tough days. Call your travel agent and ask him to check hotel and travel options for your chosen destination, or visit CheapCarribean.com to check some out yourself.

15. WRITE A LETTER
The old-fashioned kind. With paper and a pen. Think of who you want to write it to - grandmother, an aunt, a childhood friend, a nephew or even your spouse. Writing can be therapeutic.

16. FEED YOUR BRAIN
Go for some ‘mindercises’. Read a short story, look at optical illusions, solve a puzzle, take a quiz. Test your spouse. Keep collecting photocopies, cut-outs or printouts of interesting articles and mind-bogglers in a folder for an opportune 20 minutes.

17. DANCE AWAY
Loosen those limbs. You need some ‘dancercise’. Put on some music and get jiggy with it. Want to learn belly-dancing or hip-hop? Goto DDRgame.com and get into the groove with all the right moves.

18. BE GOOD AND FAMOUS
On www.freerice.com, you match words with meanings in a multiple-choice format and for every word you get right, the site donates 20 grains of rice through the United Nations to end world hunger. Then goto www.makemymag.com to see your face on the cover of a magazine.

19. MAKE A TIME CAPSULE
Put into a jar or a box all the things that symbolize your life at this stage - a broken alarm clock? A school report? A hair clip? A tiffin box? - and hide it somewhere. Next year, do this again. You will be surprised at how priorities can change.

20. LEARN SOMETHING NEW
Want to learn yo-yo skills, how to paint a portrait, wear red lipstick or barbecue like a chef? Experts on www.monkeysee.com tell you everything from how to braid your hair to how to solve the Rubik’s Cube.